The unexpected

The light in October never seems to warm up.
The darkness gets to you. This light that is squashed.
Except the other day. We had sun washing us everywhere.
The unexpected visit of the blue of the sky and the joy of the Emperor.
Deep red, appearing at our window.
Just when I had said on the phone that we had seen 
the last of the butterflies.
Was this the last hurrah before the coming winter?

Not knowing

It will take several lifetimes to understand the mystery that is us, I thought and, even then, it is uncertain. Even if we travelled to the nearest star we would not know.

Perhaps some kind of answer is closer than we think. Looking out across the night autumn sunset, I could feel the mystery wrap itself up in wonder. The evening sky breaks the blue. Birds fly into it, wings of flight, skydive.

The release of the clenched fist of the mind. It’s okay to have the don’t know mind and not know what is going to happen tomorrow. Like the wise man asked: how did you get into that body?

Not knowing is difficult. But who ever learned anything when things were easy? The poet said that it is in the no longer knowing what to do, when there is sheer bafflement, then you will be fully employed.

This is the invitation to mystery. In the darkness there is light. Here you can stop. Remind yourself of the beginner’s mind. Here there is a secret beauty. The possibilities of our indigenous nature. A seed awake.

 


Inspired by Wendell Berry, TS Eliot and most of all Jack Kornfield.