To the extent that I haven’t seen beyond my own conditioning, I continue my practice of mindful communication as a lifelong path of learning and transformation. Oren Jay Sofer
Oren Jay Sofer’s book say what you mean focuses on really important ideas about communicating mindfully.
I am struck by the simplicity of what he says for it is in this that he makes a powerful case for his approach.
He sets out, at once, to organise his ideas around three salient ideas – presence, intention and attention. It is carefully crafted and thoughtful and immediately arresting because he cares hugely about his subject matter.
This seems to me to be his life work. And what important work it is.
In part one, the first step, he embarks on an exploration of leading with presence.
These first principles are massively important. What I love about it is that he does not mess around with what he sees as important. He knows exactly what is.
It is all about self-awareness. ‘To say what we mean,’ he writes, ‘we must first know what we mean.’ He continues: ‘ To know what mean, we must listen inwardly and discern what is true for us.’
Simple, powerful stuff that requires practising regularly.
So to lead with presence, he says, is to show up. And we do this as ‘fully and completely as possible’. But, of course, it doesn’t just happen. We have to cultivate it carefully and thoughtfully.
This book is a must read for anyone who cares about communicating effectively. In the opening pages of the book Sofer writes:
I know I have more to learn, particularly around the blind spots of my own privilege. To the extent that I have managed to see beyond my own conditioning, the text and its ideas may support others … to liberate themselves from their own conditioning, and to step more fully into the interdependent dance of communication … To the extent that I haven’t seen beyond my own conditioning, I continue my practice of mindful communication as a lifelong path of learning and transformation.
And that what this is all about – learning to communicate mindfully is about learning and transformation. Wonderful stuff really.